My Sunday Photo ~ Sports Day Star

Although not the official school sports day, Little A was chosen to participate in the sports event called The Trevictus Games. This sports event held at our school is mainly for children with minor to severe learning disabilities not just in our school but also from other local Cornish schools. It shows how inclusive sports can be no matter your physical or mental health. Little A had a wonderful day and I feel that this shot of him jumping into the sand pit was my favourite.

All Signed off From The S.E.N. Department

Another milestone has come about for our Little A, not only has he started reception far better than we thought but he has been doing so well he no longer needs the input of the special educational needs department. This week he has most probably his last paediatric appointment and I'm waiting to hear about his most recent speech therapy results to see if he still needs that in school or not.

Getting the letter from the council made me smile. It's been quite a journey with Little A. We've gone from a very upset little boy who couldn't communicate and threw himself around, became completely hysterical with multiple sensory issues and would bang his head throughout the night causing us all much stress and many sleepless nights.

Now A has a pretty good vocabulary and will repeat most words put to him and only struggles with words that a lot of children his age often do. He can count over 10, is tackling phonics well at school and role plays amazingly well. It was said he probably has a sensory processing disorder, you can't get a diagnosis of this on its own so much, it's more common with other behavioural difficulties which A doesn't have. We used a lot of online tools, books and help from friends who have children who do have other diagnosis's which SPD is also a part of. Over time we have managed to figure out what really upsets A, that he's not just fussy, that we all have sensory preferences but when you lack the ability to communicate it looks nothing more than tantrums and stubbornness, how wrong we were!

We are very aware now that our boy is a sensory seeker, that he won't wear short sleeves, that he hates tooth brushing but now he's older knows it's essential. He has come through a phase where loud noises upset him greatly for a while, I think it's come with growing up and seeing fun in things like discos with friends and seeing fireworks. He hates his hair cut but now tolerates it being brushed and I still can't get him into jeans because they're too stiff.

When we were meeting nursery staff and signed on to the special needs list at school we went through speech therapy, paediatricians, occupational therapists, SPD groups, there's been a lot! At the start they felt he was at least nearly 2 years behind in his speech, emotional and social development. Well now he still forms close bonds to pupils who don't quite feel the same (cue heart break!) but we have conversations, he's learning at school, he's making friends, he's sharing, he's not so obsessed with one thing all the time. He's being imaginative, role playing, he's happier and even his sleep has improved which was sadly the only area we never got any help with.

I'm very proud of my little boy who has come so very far in just a year or so. He has been lucky (I shouldn't need that word but I've a friend going through a horrendous time trying to get help with her child so I do feel lucky) he has had wonderful support. Our bond is stronger than ever, I think I probably overindulge him a little now because we've shared the bulk of this hard time together, sometimes both tangled up as one crying together through sheer frustration and tiredness.

So yes, slowly but surly a space has become free for another child who needs the help and support more than my Little A. I hope they find their journey has a positive outcome too.

Cupcake Mumma

Little A an Update

Things have been up and down with Little A for a couple of years and it's been difficult. When I first realised I needed some help with A I phoned a health visitor in tears but now we are 2 years on things are getting easier. We had his transitional meeting at nursery recently and it was so good to know that my boy is going to be understood and not left behind during his first year of school. If all goes well he will be signed off the list for these school meetings we attend with a lovely special needs worker. Little A has some sensory issues but he doesn't have any other issues and as long as people who are close to him understand these he will be okay.

He will continue with speech therapy which has been such a gift. I cannot explain how much this has meant to us. With his speech sessions and with the nursery setting and teachers being so wonderful and his skills with socialising and interacting with other children constantly building he has come such a long way. I always said I was offended by the the line "once he starts talking you'll want him to shut up" and I stand firmly by that still. Until you are the parent of a child and you cannot understand a single word they say and they are angry, stressed and frustrated because of all the people in the world you should know what he is saying and you don't, you just don't know what a gift it is to hear words and sentences tumble from his lips after school, at bedtime, with his big sister, with me in the middle of the night, it goes on and I love it. He is still very repetitive which of course is something that wears thin but overall I couldn't be a happier Mum if I tried!

We've had an occupational therapy consultation which was a success. I think it went very well. The therapist did agree with sensory issues, once written down we could see his main issues revolved around touch and he also has trouble self regulating. He is sensitive to noise but a lot of what I described made her feel that it was best to see our doctor (we think he could be experiencing tinnitus which is just horrible because I have it) and to get him a hearing test just to be sure. She also felt the head rocking and banging and the sleep disturbances and night terrors were not sensory so we have been referred to Sleep Solutions. I'm not sure what they can advise, I think we have a mixture of waiting it out to do and habits to break which is all very difficult when we all just want sleep but I'm willing to hear suggestions and honest views on our situation. Obviously I'm prepared for the inevitable hard work and screaming in future too...

We have a paediatric appointment next month which I think may be our last one but I'm not sure. We have a specialist dental appointment coming up because for the first few years we really struggled to brush Little A's teeth and I'm hoping that although now he copes better with the feel of tooth brushing he still finds it distressing, so I'm meeting the dental team to see if they'll coat his teeth to help protect the enamel. His doctors appointment is this week and I'm sure his hearing test won't be far behind! In the mean time, nursery is helping his transition to reception with visits and meeting the teacher (the whole class do this) A will have a personalised picture table of his new class and teachers that we can show him over the holidays. I think this will work with any child who is nervous about reception not just children who may struggle to understand their next step, so maybe if you're worried ask your nursery team or new teachers what they think.

So to sum it all up we are so pleased with A's speech and language, I'm happy with the outcome of the OT appointment because I think there are children who struggle with sensory issues much more than A who could benefit from their time. Since I took A to his first paediatric appointment last year I researched so much into sensory processing disorder and I changed the way I deal with him, our routines changed and when I started seeing what he struggled with I made allowances, or changed things or just understood him more, it's changed him so much I don't think OT could've provided much. I'm thinking of doing some posts about Little A's biggest sensory difficulties (tooth brushing, clothing etc) and how we deal with this. If it's any use to anyone let me know!

Cupcake Mumma

Do I Have An Extra Special Little Man?

I want to apologise if that title is patronising to anyone firstly, but it's just how I feel, in that 'Mummy' way. That my children are so super special anyway because they are mine and they are unique and wonderful to me but over the years something has been ticking, I have been struggling and as a family we have been struggling and tomorrow I hope to see if there are any underlying reasons why our family have been finding things so difficult with Little A.

Since he was one and a half, Little A has had rather spectacular tantrums, naturally put down throughout the years as him being a very strong willed infant and toddler. He started head banging floors, walls and doors and also his bed which we had to get padded out. He then head butted his rails but he was too young to sleep without them. Doctors, health visitors and even some family members assured me he would grow out of this upsetting behaviour. I was to keep him as safe as possible and 'ride it out.'

I can ride it out no longer. Thanks to speech therapy his communication has come on very well. He still has this at nursery. After an incident at nursery shortly after he started and which I wrote about here because it upset me so much, we shared some insights into Little A's behaviour, his likes and dislikes and sometimes very particular ones with the the staff there and this set the wheels in motion. We shortly met with a special educational needs lady who works with the council and works with schools in cornwall and she observed Little A. She spotted many things that we considered just something he did and probably every child did but which were actually behaviours on top of other behaviours that she wasn't sure about. Little A's sleep was a her biggest concern with repetitive night terrors, waking every night, being aggressive and head banging, and appearing to be asleep or at least half asleep. I agree it is a lot of work and is breaking me. I can't remember the last time my husband was beside me in bed because I am the only one able to console our son and almost always only being held very tightly in my bed calms him down.

Tomorrow morning I will be nervous but I will be armed with my forms and my own sheet of A4 paper which has both sides filled in of all the things I could think of that might be relevant to our meeting. I will blog our meeting so anyone in our situation can read what to expect from their first paediatric appointments, it's something I have struggled to find online (from a personal point) but luckily several friends have reassured me a little.

I've had many labels for my son over the last few months: Overtired, under stimulated, badly behaved, spoiled, attention seeking you name it but in my heart, deep down, I know there is something else to my boy. I believe he has trouble with sensory processing but you know, I can't say for sure, I'm not a professional after all..The way I see tomorrow, and this only a very personal way of viewing the whole thing and nothing to do with anybody else or their child, tomorrow will tell me, or hopefully soon tell me, that either there is something about my Little A's world I need to accept and learn from or I am failing him as a parent.

I'll be sure to clear my mind further after tomorrow that's for sure.

Cupcake Mumma

This Weeks Reasons to be Cheerful

Today I'm feeling a little blue so writing one of these posts is the perfect antidote I believe. I've had an earache on and off all day, it's something that always happens now it's cold but I still can't get used to them! It's also piddling it down which hasn't bothered me until now! Anyway, let's get on with some cheerier things shall we?

1) Fireworks night and Halloween are now all over for another year. This year both celebrations were so good and I have some lovely memories to keep. On Halloween I did my usual tea party for my two and their cousins. My niece stayed over night so we took her Trick or Treating which was good fun. Everyone was so polite and friendly. We had a lot more this year than last, perhaps thanks to Jack?

Firework night isn't something I go all out on. I guess I just don't believe in it and what it stands for. Having said that, I feel it's such a possibility for cosiness and memory making so I'm no scrooge! We had homemade fish and chips with butter drizzled corn on the cob for dinner, watched the neighbourhood fireworks, took some lovely photos, did our own sparklers and made our own version of s'mores (which I am now going to label free from Wagon Wheels! So watch out for that!)

2) I'm seeing my best buddy and 2 of her gorgeous clan next Saturday and I'm super excited..Bet you can't guess who it is? I've dug out Little A's Moses basket which has brought back memories! It's only one night but I'm still so excited.

3) Now half term is over I am pleased to be back into a routine. I get some quality time with Little A, Midge loves being back at school, the hours don't drag so much and I get some me time too- which is ever so important! I get a long hot shower, or to read in peace and do some snail mail. I also love that Little A and I are back to watching our morning trains after dropping Midge off. We love waving to the drivers, watching the birds waddle about looking for dropped bacon sandwiches but mostly I just adore watching how much A likes to see his train and watch it disappear around the bend when everyone is aboard. Isn't it great when your children just really love something!?

Lastly, we have heard back from the SEN department and they're going to observe A in nursery before having a little meeting with us which is such good news. Whilst I don't believe he has any specific behaviour problems or anything, he does need more help with his speech and communicating with him still isn't easy, even though I can see how different he is even from a few months ago. I just want to hear him talk to me like all the other children in nursery talk to their parents about what they want or what happened in their day. I'm happy to wait for it though.

Cupcake Mumma