Showing posts with label remembering. Show all posts
Showing posts with label remembering. Show all posts

My Birth Story!



Finally a chance to spout off about my 2 little darlings coming into the world! Both of my children arrived very easily, with minimal fuss, 2 midwives (one of which was my wonderful Auntie), my partner and my Mother as my birth partners both times and my second was a water birth..fabulous!



This will be very short as there honestly isn't much i can remember! I don't remember any times or anything like that. What I can tell you however, is I stayed up rather late with with period pain at my mother in laws house where I was staying at the time with Jay (Other Half). It was about 11.30pm when I tried to go to sleep I had the most awful pain I had ever experienced in my tummy! I told jay to run the bath and got in as soon as I could. We called the midwife once, just managed to speak to her through some rather heavy breathing and was advised to go to the local birth unit where I had said in my birth plan I was desperate to give birth.
When we arrived I was already 4 cm dilated and the birthing pool was being filled up. My Mum arrived about an hour or so later when i was swirling around the pool in a lot of pain. I tried gas and air at this point and thought it was horrid. I was absolutely not having any pethidine (involved a needle) so I was going it alone from there on.
Fast forward 4 hours later, I had a funny feeling 'down there' " I need the loo" I proceeded to announce to mum (this was roughly 20 mins after smelling Jays breath and vomiting in a yellow bucket which was very hastily brought to me! 
I stepped out leaving Jay panicking about the blood in the pool, once he was satisfied with the explanation (it was the mucus plug..lush) he got out to dry off while I sat on the loo trying to push...Cue mother coming in and asking if i was okay..."Mum, I don't need a poo, I need to have a baby" I said (very calmly may I add.)
I waddled to the bed, realised we hadn't brought any milk or bottles (not supplied in birthing units) so mother in law missed the birth literally by about 15 minutes because she very kindly dashed out to buy the essentials! 
Anyway, back to me..I lay there legs akimbo, lady garden to the world, I pushed about 2 times when my aunt walked through the dear, said a quick hello before going into midwife mode, I gave another push (which I'm told turned me blue- i wanted it out!!) Had that very familiar razor sharp burning pain overcome me (NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS) and that was when I screamed, the most vocal part of my whole labour may I add. With one final push (good because I was extremely dizzy at this point) Little Miss was brought into the world with very little noise! I looked at my shrivelled up little bundle and realised I had just done the most amazing thing in the world. We were all crying, cameras out, texts being sent off here there and everywhere..I was stitched up (haunting me to this day thank you very much, def in the Que for my 'designer vagina!) (I'm being serious by the way) and was sent off home after a shower....Wonderful!


Sadly I suffered Post Natal Depression quite badly for a very long time (much longer than anyone really knew) But once the medication kicked in i was on the road to recovery. Unfortunately this gave me a lot of worries for my second pregnancy which was a difficult one. I was ill a lot, was very sick (but thankfully not sick enough to be hospitalised) I was very anxious about experiencing PND a second time knowing how much I missed with my daughter. When I found out I was having a little boy I was over the moon. Rightly or wrongly everything bad that had happened with little Miss made me think that I had to have a boy for everything to be different this time. Everything has been different this time, but not for that reason I am sure.



Now this one is good! I wrote this down (being very into writing at the beginning of 2011 and so very excited that I was feeling so amazingly good the second time round) Period pains started plaguing me all bloody night of the 18th February. I managed to drift in and out of sleep and on awaking I called my aunt to get her advice, this being about 7am. Quick phone call to mum who thought she would find me on all fours screaming for pain relief seemed very disappointed that I was still packing my hospital bag, leaning on the kitchen surface whilst stuffing my face with a piece of toast coated in chocolate spread (sugar levels people!). 
We said goodbye Jays mum who had come to look after Little Miss (thankfully still in bed) and drove off with Lewis Hamilton my Mum to the birth unit.
When I arrived I had my internal and I remember being very annoyed I was only 1cm. We stayed around a bit, stepped outside for some fresh air, had a couple of very intelligent stupid arsed turds shout 'fatty' out of their car window and ate some fruit bars. The longer I was there the more teasy I was becoming. My aunt suggested going out to the local park, we'd have a walk and a quick meal. We drove to the park (after Mother driving over every sodding pot hole in the damn car park) and went for some salad and chips and a walk around the lake. We decided nothing was still really happening so Mum took me and Jay to hers while she went off to work.
Dad was still asleep but soon woke up when mum mentioned the words 'Hannah, our house, labour' in the same sentence. I was greeted by him jumping through the kitchen door singing 'I'm talking  bout some great dilations' (yes he is 50-honest) and we had a nice conversation about my pain, my timings etc all the things you don't wanna talk about to your Dad really but it was bonding so who am I to argue?
I had stronger pains so called mum and she came home from work pretty quick. We went back to the unit but i was still only a few centimetres dilated. My midwife gave me a sweep (HOLY COW THAT IS PAINFUL) and I paced about a bit before declaring defeat once again and heading off home to cry in the shower: 'Why me, why can't i just have this sodding baby? I am soooooo ill and this is really not fair..If there is anyone up there who generally gives a shit get this baby out of me now!!'
*Pop* "That was odd, probably a very strange kick from my stubborn, unborn child"
*Gets out of shower* 'Owwwwwww!!! JASON!! My waters have broke. They have ACTUALLY broken". What a man, he helped me get changed while mum called the midwife who had run the birthing pool for me already! I spent about 4 hours in that pool by myself saying how at the time this was a good idea but I wasn't so sure now!
Little Man was born with about 4 or 5 pushes, pain relief free (because I don't like it not because I'm super human or something) I was a bit more concerned about my bits in my disorientated state but I was assured everything was fine and we were discharged same as before. I got to go home to my lovely daughter with my partner and new baby feeling fine, walking and not waddling and peeing without screaming hurrah!
Oh, and no post natal depression :-)

This post was written up for a link up of birth stories prompted by ActuallyMummy. Hop on over and read (and share) some more wonderful (and perhaps not so wonderful) birth stories.
*Edit- Also linking this post up with Parentonomy!
Cupcake Mumma

The Gallery 11/11/11

The lovely Tara over at Stickyfingers made the prompt for 'The Gallery' 11/11/11. Basically we had to capture what we were doing on this date to put it all together in to one big 11.11.11 moment, fabulous! So, wasting no more time here is my offering for this weeks Gallery:

I couldn't just post one picture for this special day. Me and my Little Miss went down to our local church where the services,town mayors and town band were marching. We came to a halt outside of the church and watched the band play a wonderful tune before the local Vicar made a quick speech before the silence. It was simply wonderful seeing the whole community come together, very emotional watching loved ones mourn their loss and the rest of us simply remembering each and every serviceman and woman both then and now.
Beneath is a picture I took of the memorial after the wreaths had just been laid.
What a wonderful day.

My Lovely November Weekend

I think I may have been a bit too involved in my memes of late and i've also had a few moments of 'well, what the hell do I write today?' They really suck, trapped brain waves pushing against that spongy wall to no avail...but they made it out, probably found a random gap where something of remote intelligence once lived!
On Saturday (after my lay in you understand) I decided me and Little Miss should just jump on a train and go to Truro. I took a little money, Little Miss grabbed her purse with £7.50 saved up (plus £2 generously donated by Nanny) and we were off. I got some lovely photos at the train station:
View of the tracks at Camborne Station
Couldn't resist a snap of the tracks not sure why!

Lovely Little Miss
Yes, Ted had to come to!
We arrived after a rather cramped journey on a small train and honestly could not believe the looks I received from one particuar student who decided all her stuff should take up 4 seats..When asked to move her portfolio so my 3 year could sit down you would have thought i'd asked her to get out and push the sodding train! 
Once we did arrive though Little Miss got very excited. We decided to hunt for some lunch first and sat down outside the Cathedral. It was cold but we ate fast so we could go inside to light some candles and have a look around. Little Miss loves these buildings and I'm so pleased because they are wonderful. She was full of questions and afterwards we popped into the shop to buy a postcard for me (as I collect them) and Little Miss found a feather pen, paid for it all by herself and has now decided she is exactly like Harry Potter, wand and all! 
Truro Cathedral

Small memorial

The Madonna with child

For Uncle Moo, Super Nanny and the Fallen we remember x
Everytime we go to Truro we light a candle for someone, it's coming up to a year already since my partner lost his Nan, my children's 'Super Nanny' so we lit 3 and donated some money into the boxes.

After this, we looked around some shops, mainly buying some Christmas bits from the good old £ Store, played in the Early Learning Center where we bought Little Man a Christmas gift which i'm sure will keep him amused for hours. It took a while to get Miss out of this store as you can imagine but the temptation of posting some letters for Mummy was too much so off we went!

Add caption
Ahh I forgot to mention the little 'fair' we ran in to! We lost at 'find the giant ball hidden under the snowmen' but Miss got 2 Lollies for having a go, she was given a balloon by a rather nice lady who then proceeded to wrap this rather well made and perfectly fitting Princess crown around her head..Now, where she got the candy cane from i'm not so sure! Must have been given it when I wasn't looking!
Sunday




The day started off nice and peaceful until we heard the band marching down the road 'Of course!' I cried. I slipped on some trainers, Little Miss wanted to tag along too so I needed to shove a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on her (not realising just how bleeding cold it was going to be out there!)
We ran like mad to get to the end of town where I could get a picture of the band,army,navy you name it they were there and I wanted to capture them paying their respects.
We gathered at the local Church for our 2 minutes silence, speeches,laying of the wreaths. I didn't attend the ceremony simply because both Little Miss and I were thoroughly frozen by the time we had paid our respects. I got some lovely shots, loved seeing the gathered crowd come together, shed a few tears and had a brief conversation about why we were there with Little Miss who proceeded to say 'They are all angels in the sky now Mummy'. Bless and how right she is. I said it before and i'd say it again; I would freeze again and for longer to pay my respects to all those lost then and now (although I will put a coat on my daughter.) *Bad Cupcake Mum* 


Anyway i'm now looking forward to a rather nice (and long over due) catch up with a school friend I have not seen in over a year! Awful! 




Remembering..Never Forgetting


Close your eyes and listen.

At the 11th hour today a silence will descend upon you.
It was said at the very first silence held on 11th November 1919 that everything and everyone stopped. Men turned pale white and even the animals seemed to stop of their own accord. It was said the silence was almost a pain.

I like to think of the fallen from all the wars, and imagine what it must be like to witness many an awful thing happen to those who are tightly by your side for a long time suddenly taken away. To watch people you know fall and not be able to help. To watch one person protect their  whole unit by sacrificing themselves...

I don't only remember the fallen from every war, i remember what each and every soldier was a part of. Particularly from the First and Second World Wars our lives could be incredibly different. Not only do we remember those lives lost, and those who continue to fight, we should rejoice in what freedom those men from years ago gave us. Without them we would not be telling the same story.

So, just to take a moment today to remember all those brave men and now women too who fought and continue to fight.
X

Also I wanted to share something I have. I know nothing about this book other than it's from the Second World War. I found it in an antique shop. It's a New Testament Bible and I carry it in my handbag. I wonder if it was important to someone? If they read it, or held or carried it with them? Who knows. It's not worth anything only to my imagination but I thought I'd share it. 

Shame a name was never printed in it.