Loving me Post Baby:

This post was inspired by 2 fellow blogger's Motherventing (@motherventing) and Motherhood Journeys (@MotherScuffer) who have recently posted photographs of their post baby bodies. I already had a post in mind (minus photos) about my post baby body but after seeing how liberating it could be and what positive feedback these ladies had I thought 'What the heck?' and so here I am.

I had my daughter when I was 18. Of course I was actually pregnant with her at 17 so when my body started changing and in particular stretching, i found it pretty hard to come to terms with. I ate really badly during my first pregnancy often craving all the carbs on this earth rather than anything remotely healthy! I didn't gain that much weight though which was lucky. After I had Little Miss though things got tough and I didn't care much about myself. I ate poorly, hardly exercised and felt disgusting. I think it's sad to be so young and find yourself disgusting.

I then planned my next pregnancy when i was happier with myself, my relationship, my whole situation as a whole had improved. I was 21 and pregnant with Little Man and very happy. I ate a lot better second time around mainly down to pretty horrific pregnancy ailments! After he was born I was straight back into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Now a year later I am back to square one. I have cared less about my diet, I don't get enough sleep and I certainly don't get enough exercise! This is all going to change though- and soon, I promise myself that.

For now though I will be and am happy with my body. I know there are things that can be changed and that is just fine. It's so important to love ourselves and I am glad I am not twice my age before I discover that.

So here I am, a few photos of my wobbly bits and stretch marks. All reminders and finer, hidden details of my Motherhood Journey...

I love my feet and my toes. I always complain that my legs are too big but I can see now there is nothing wrong with them! 

My children have left me with some pretty bad stretch marks. Some are fading and some I don't think ever will. These are the marks of growing and caring for my babies and no one will make me feel horrible for that. I also have a permanent line from slouching..even now I make an effort not to slouch it has stayed there!

And we end on a lower shot! I love my curves and always have. I have big hips which run in the family- I don't think those 'love handles' will ever go and that's okay. You can see the classic 'Mummy Tummy' but what do I care? If i don't do sit ups i can't complain!

This Is Me, Post Baby.

Cupcake Mumma

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The Gallery: At Peace

I struggled with this to be honest but after taking some photos last night for an upcoming blog post I thought to myself, 'This would be a really good photo for The Gallery.'
Photographically speaking it's not amazing, it's the thought behind it.

I'll be the first one to say something I dislike about my myself much like most women out there. Like a few other fellow bloggers I am putting a post together later on about being at at peace with myself. I think I finally am. I'm not the prettiest but I'm not the worst looking thing on this planet either.
In this photo I could still point out a couple of things I am unhappy with but couldn't we all? I think I quite like me..I think I am finally at peace with myself.

Cupcake Mumma

Please link up your post with Tara at Sticky Fingers and view more lovely photos for this weeks theme. x

MumenTum

I'm not sure what week I'm on at the moment but what i do know is that I've done sod all exercise all week. Perhaps it's because i am so damn cold I don't like the idea of bouncing about in a legging and short sleeved top combo. Granted I will soon warm up, but i have to freeze before I do. Or perhaps the more likely option is and I'm sure you may well agree is that I am simply too lazy!

My diet is improving though. I have found some cornflakes in the free from aisle in Morrison's so I now have them for breakfast with soya milk and fruit. One day I used up the last of the strawberries and for the past two days I have had blueberries. I still won't eat without sugar but it is the tiniest amount ever.

I have not been adding salt to my dinner which is very good for me as I am usually a salt addict. I'm still working on my water intake which is just a bad habit. When i do drink more water I really do feel the difference. So what I really need to be focused on is drinking more and finally getting that exercise routine in place.

I had a take out last week but don't feel crap about that at all. We can all have a nice treat once in a while, I mean life's too short. I have realised though that I have not eaten any chocolate for about 2 weeks. I'm talking a big bar here, usually when it's a week before 'that time' I get pretty monstrous and loads of chocolate is usually the only way to calm me down. I'm not sure what has changed exactly but I seem to be a bit more mellow (ask other half) around this time now.

So, plenty to improve on but also plenty to be pleased with!
Cupcake Mumma
I'm linking up with Liska at New Mum Online x

Life Circle-Life Circle

Kate has asked us to look a little forward first to five years ahead and then one year ahead. I have done this previously but this is about starting a fresh for me so that is what I am going to do.

In five years time I will be 27 so still nice and young, go me! My daughter will be 9 so she will be at the end of primary school with my son at the beginning of his primary education. Unless we have another child in 5 years time I would like to think we would still be living where we are because we are happy here overall with decent schools in the vicinity and family close by which is always a bonus.
I will be a qualified massage therapist and working part time therefore prior to that I would have built up my confidence enough to go out and work. I will have the life balance I need, regular working out, spending time with my children, my husband (we will be married very soon!) the essentials (house work) any studies and hobbies and doing more instead of being a home bunny.

So in one years time I will be newly married and happy in my relationship. I will still be a stay-at-home mum because my son will only be one but my daughter will be in full time school from September this year which will give me much more time to myself in terms of getting things done. I enjoy baking but find I often don't get the chance in the day.
I will be going to regular parent toddler groups with my son which will boost my confidence and social skills. I will have got a balanced, healthy diet and be happy with my size and weight as I am working on setting a routine that works for me. I won't ever be a social butterfly as that is not my thing, but I will certainly make an effort to see friends, have my sister over and spend quality time with those who matter.
I will be doing more for me in the way of exercise and hobbies because this really matters to me.

If i have missed anything out I apologise! My confidence is a real thing for me. There is one thing holding me back and that is simple: fear. I don't feel silly having this fear because I know why I have it. I blush A LOT and so far (since I was 9) I have not been able to find a way to deal with this. Because of this I am really holding myself back. I won't volunteer which is ideal for my CV not to mention my confidence. I find it difficult to attend toddler groups which means my children miss out. This is no good and needs looking at. The fact is, and I know this, that i cannot stop excessive blushing (I recommend a Google here)
I won't go on anymore, it's a sensitive subject and one that a lot of people think is daft (because seeing me in this situation is 'Oh so funny')
Finding a life balance is also important to me. It would seem there are so many things to do (or that I want to do) and yet I don't want to prioritise them. Working out over blogging? Housework over sitting on my arse watching TV? I have a repetitive day to day routine which needs to change, this is where toddler groups come in!

Pleas link up your post over at The Five Fs blog. Hannah x

No MumenTum..

It has been an awful week for me. Every time I've gone to do something I have been pulled in another direction by someone (namely toddler or baby related of course) which is extremely annoying.
I can't (and won't) blame it all on my little darlings though. My motivation has gone out of the window and I'm not sure when it's gonna bring its sorry ass home to be quite honest!

The past couple of days both Other Half and me have been totally run down with this horrid cold, earache and with Little Miss deciding to play silly buggers at 4 o'clock in the morning and Little Man teething I can honestly and freely admit to being darn right lazy with everything.

I am not myself at all and it is very depressing. I totally get how I am focusing way too much on the fact that I've had a bad week and not enough on making this week count but that just makes it worse in some silly way. Like I've made such a balls up this week that there is even more pressure to be 'good' this week.

I'm really struggling with my diet. I have a restricted diet (I don't eat meat, i can't eat wheat,gluten or dairy) so my meals bore me to death. I have books, I have looked online but the treats and puddings are proving more common and more fun to make! Not that I've made much of anything! I appear to be living off soya mince! Shepard's pie, spag bol...as I said last week I freeze this so I can have a good lunch or a dinner if I'm feeling lazy.

I haven't had take out this week which is one thing to be happy about. And I haven't stuffed my face on sweets or chocolate either. And I'm not sad about that. I do feel though that I have a million and one things to do (or rather I want to do) but am reluctant to prioritise them. Lets face it, yes i would rather blog and read a book, watch Eastenders, e-mail than pull out my exercise DVD...But then if I carry on I will be an overweight miserable sod who hates herself blogging, reading and watching Eastenders.....Ohh I think I've just found my motivation!

I'm linking up (bravely this week) with New Mum Online and the fabulous bloggers who are also on the journey of getting their tums back...I WILL get it back!!
Hannah x

Life Circle 2012 Taking Action

I didn't participate in last weeks Life Circle because I simply didn't feel the need to. I can see where my life needs improving and I'm pretty sure they're not that different from 2011. In this weeks Life Circle, Kate at The Five Fs blog wants us to start taking ACTION! to improve the areas of our lives that we have considered to be the lowest out of ten (this is based on a Life Circle Wheel).

My lowest 2 would have to be Fun & Recreation and Health. For me Personal Development is also an issue but I would like to tie that under fun and recreation as I would like to start going back to baby groups and getting involved more outside the home. This is what i call fun but also it is heavily based on my confidence which again has become an issue for me.

So out of 10 I would score myself 5 for fun and recreation. I need to do more for me and enjoy myself again but equally make time with both of my children to become the fun Mum I used to be. I used do colouring, painting and baking with my daughter and this has gone out of the window. I want me back! I have also joined the Pinaddicts challenge (see badge in side bar) to try and get my crafty juices flowing!

I would give myself 6 out of 10 health. My health isn't bad but there are some personal issues I need to see to and this involves changing my outlook on diet and fitness. I have already given my meals an over hall and I feel slightly better. I need to measure myself up and also start exercising. I think I'm also keen to get me and Little Man out in his buggy and do a few laps around the park (trying not to care what anyone else thinks..it's a small-ish park!)

Right so that is my Action post of Life Circle. To see everybody else's please head on over to The Five Fs blog and link up/view!

Hannah

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The Life Circle 2012

Yep, The Life Circle has begun again for 2012 and this time I feel a lot more positive and able to complete the tasks ahead. For the first task Kate from The Five F's blog has set us to simply introduce ourselves and asks us what we aim to get out of joining and taking part in Life Circle.

So, my name is Hannah, 20 something stay-at-home-mum to a nearly 4 year old Little Miss and nearly 1 year old Little Man. I have a partner of nearly 5 years and we are getting married this August something which I am looking forward to.
I have always struggled with confidence and self esteem but these are things that have improved and incredible amount, although like everyone else I still have my lower days where I just don't want to talk to anyone and be alone, sometimes not even get out of bed! I hope to feel less like this in 2012.
My partner works nights in a factory so we share the childcare and house duties during the day. I am very lucky that I don't HAVE to work right now but the time will come. That scares the crap out of me to be honest. I'm still fairly shy and tend to hang back in the background of large groups which can effect making new friends.

What do I want to get out of the Life Circle?
Well, I'd like to first off concentrate on my weight loss. I weighed in today at the doctors and I am now back to what I weighed before i had my son. I am by no fat or even overweight but I do need to loose a bit. In order to feel more confident again like I did after I gave birth I also really need to focus on toning up so my jeans are not so tight. I want this to be a healthier year for me and for my family,
Then I would like to start joining groups such as toddler groups with my son, maybe start going to church again and joining there with anything they may have for my children and I to participate in. However, that is something floating around there although you get the idea of what I'd like to achieve.

To join in and look to at the other bloggers participating and introducing themselves why not head on over to Kate's blog by clicking the badge below. It could be just what you need to start the New Year (and You) off to a good start.

Hannah

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The One With The Head Cold and Recent Realisations:

Yeah it got me. Damn cold.
I thought I would take advantage of being asked to pop Little Man to bed and slip into my own warm, comfy heaven to write a post for this morning. My feet are still on the cold side, and I definitely need some paracetamol, but in the mean time at least I am relaxed.

I have felt this has been a painfully slow week. Not incredibly exciting but revealing in some parts. I have learnt a lot about a person who recently came into my life as a 'friend' and realised that in fact sometimes people are just out to take the biscuit and I am, in fact, worth a lot more.
I have been participating in the start of a new life coaching type challenge at The Fives F Blog which I think is a fab idea and I have had all sorts buzzing around my head about task 2. It has really forced me to think about my life and the direction I am heading. What do I want? Where do I want to be in this life? How can I get there?
These type of questions used to terrify me. Perhaps, no, definitely why I left school with perfectly good grades at GCSE level but went on to college to well, not even study. Everyone thought I was bonkers joining the course I did. Admittedly it was for people who had not done so well at school, had learning difficulties or were made to come to college but hated school. I certainly didn't fit in based on this criteria, but I slotted in nicely with a group of very good mates and had a whale of a time. I wasn't ready to grow up. Simple as.

Becoming a stay at home mum was the best thing that ever happened to me. I've learnt a lot about myself and I needed to be forced to grow up however pathetic it sounds. I was painfully shy and anxious. No one would see these things because where I lived I didn't have to be forced to interact with anybody, hell I didn't even have to use a telephone!! (I did though, ask my Dad :)

Anyway, this reflection has brought upon me the realisation that I have come such a long, long way in my life. I hope this life coaching challenge can bring out the best me as a better mother, a better partner, a better person with a better life.

Enough with the soppy crap already! I hear you say.Yes quite right.
I have made other notes this week such as..If i choose not to get my arse in gear before the school run Little Miss, being a toddler, will simply rebel against my wish for her 'hurry up and put her damn trousers on' which results in a tantrum and a shouting match..very mature. I endeavour to do better next week.
I have come to peace with the fact that I will never change certain parts of my dear fiance Such as:

•  I will always be the one who has to sort the laundry. Evidently the ever diminishing space on the dining table is not enough to make him realise that perhaps the clean clothes need a little help folding themselves...I shall continue alone.

• He will never, ever understand my obsessive compulsion for the jars being lined up in the cuboard, the window ledge items in the bathroom needing to be a 'certain way' with their labels facing the front and food boxes being in their height order *sigh*

• He will also never in a million years get the hang of this recycling lark. So will continue to be a bin lurker for the rest of my life waiting to grab an item off this hand before it dives in the black hole, or occasionally pop the lid open and (baring in mind I don't and won't sieve the bins contents, let me just get that clear lol) if the item is a non covered in baby food/poo then I will happily grab it with my 'Oh, Ew, No' voice, crush with my flip flop and pop it in my Big Black Box...but please; HOW HARD IS IT TO RECYCLE PLASTIC AND CARDBOARD!?

Rant over. Enjoy your Saturday fellow bloggers and curious readers.

Cupcake Mumma x